of fireworks and memories

He got home late today. It's Friday and he'd been in a regular chit-chat with some friends. As he reached his bedroom, he switched off his MP3 and changed clothes. He has just worn his pambahay when he noticed colorful fireworks fill the night sky. Because of his fascination with fireworks and for some reasons, he felt like it was a new year's eve (when actually, it's not). And then he remembered something he thought he had buried in the deepest part of his heart.

It was already dark when she was dismissed. They decided to take dinner first as he hasn't eaten lunch yet. And as always, she scolded him as if she were his mom; that he should never skip meals blah blah blah blah... When they finished, they decided to take a walk. The whole place was yellow (because of the light posts along the covered walk) and was unusually quiet. Inside him, he could hear his heart pounding as it never did before. It was the night when he decided to disclose everything... to tell her everything that he has been feeling for her... and to finally end it for his sake... for their sake...

He finally broke the silence and told her he needed to say something. They stopped and decided to sit down somewhere. And there, he told her everything.

The next day, they were in his room. He was lying comfortably in the bed as she was sitting beside her. Until then, she still cant believe what happened, what he told her the night before. Through her eyes, he can see her asking him why he had to leave "everything" behind.

"Alam mo ba kung bakit ako aalis?" he asked.

"Bakit?"

"It's because there are feelings which are not worth fighting for..."

It hurt him when he said that, but he meant it. And then he thought of asking her once and for all, thinking that if he hears it straight from her--that the feeling is not mutual--it would be easier for him to move on.

And so he got up from where he was lying down, looked at her, and asked her--"Is this worth fighting for...?"

She didn't answer.

He told her not to be shy to say "NO" and that it would be easier for him to move on if he hears it from her. After all, she should say "no" because she is not available... and she never will be.

Still, she didn't answer and told him that he doesn't understand and that she can't answer his question yet.

He needed and wanted to hear her answer but he cant wait. It was never right in the first place. And the only right thing to do was for him to let go and move on. This is the only thing that's right--for him, for her, and for the other guy.
.
.
.
.
.
He never knew her answer. But as promised, he has buried his feelings and left everything in the past... The next time he'll get them, he'll be sure that it will be for the right girl at the right time...

The fireworks are gone... and so is his feeling for her. It felt like a new year's eve... And yes, it is.

-------------------

This was written a few years ago. Another imported blog. :)